So, about a day or so ago, my Aunt sent me an email that really had no intent behind it except to say that we go through these phases in our lives that take us through stages that temper how we address our Moms: Mommy to Mom to Mother. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a "Mama's Boy", (we will address that some time later--it could be an entire blog in and of itself, trust me on that one and yes, I did send the email on to my Mom)but the end of the email said something very pertinent and it made me think that maybe I am just too damned picky. Here is what it said:
"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she
carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, Because that is the
doorway to her heart, The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, But true beauty in a
woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she Shows,
and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!"
carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, Because that is the
doorway to her heart, The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, But true beauty in a
woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she Shows,
and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!"
Now, corny-rhyming poetry aside, the words above and the speech/lecture that my closest female friend gave me got me to REALLY thinking, "I am just too damned picky when it comes to the type of woman I want or the type of woman I would date"—PICKY & STUPID, great combo.
Too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too old, too young, too many kids (might have to lighten up on that one as I get older in my years)...you know the list, because you have one yourself! Either her feet are too big (note, this is one that I will never bend on-you never want a woman whose feet are sticking-up higher than yours when you are in the bed), too ethnic, too white, too shallow, high-maintenance, low-maintenance, wears too much make-up, not enough make-up, too loud, too quiet, on and on and on... Stopping for a moment and looking back at what I have written and the things that simply came off of the top of my head, I realize that I am, by all intensive purposes putting up too many barriers for my own damned good—yeehaw, STUPID.
I mean, once I force myself to think about it, (yes, that hurts) I am truly no symbol of perfection my DAMNED SELF as you all can see. Though sometimes/most times I truly like to believe it and I try my best to make others around me believe it too. But deep down in that place that none of us like to talk about (you know that whole "Come To Jesus Meeting In The Mirror"), I know that I fall WAAAY short of even coming close to perfection--no one does. Long waist/torso, short legs, small ass (yes, some guys worry about their ass size), BIG head, big eyes, big teeth, my nose--no comment, somewhere in between skinny and athletic (had a beer gut one time--not pretty, repeat "HAD"), smart ass, egocentric...okay, that is enough to get the point across that no one can attain perfection. I wanna blame my "shallowness" on television, media and marketing, but that is a cop out and anyone with half of a brain and a bit of self-awareness and integrity knows that thinking on that level is normal, but not acceptable in the Real Dating World.
So, the big question, the question that is probably the impetus for this blogging effort and self-deprecation is “how do I fix it”? Liz (my best female friend and confidant; happily married by the way) says that we all have lists, but to get out of “my own damned way”, I need to drastically shorten the list…you know, create a small list of “haves” versus a huge list of “have nots”. So, here we go:
Too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too old, too young, too many kids (might have to lighten up on that one as I get older in my years)...you know the list, because you have one yourself! Either her feet are too big (note, this is one that I will never bend on-you never want a woman whose feet are sticking-up higher than yours when you are in the bed), too ethnic, too white, too shallow, high-maintenance, low-maintenance, wears too much make-up, not enough make-up, too loud, too quiet, on and on and on... Stopping for a moment and looking back at what I have written and the things that simply came off of the top of my head, I realize that I am, by all intensive purposes putting up too many barriers for my own damned good—yeehaw, STUPID.
I mean, once I force myself to think about it, (yes, that hurts) I am truly no symbol of perfection my DAMNED SELF as you all can see. Though sometimes/most times I truly like to believe it and I try my best to make others around me believe it too. But deep down in that place that none of us like to talk about (you know that whole "Come To Jesus Meeting In The Mirror"), I know that I fall WAAAY short of even coming close to perfection--no one does. Long waist/torso, short legs, small ass (yes, some guys worry about their ass size), BIG head, big eyes, big teeth, my nose--no comment, somewhere in between skinny and athletic (had a beer gut one time--not pretty, repeat "HAD"), smart ass, egocentric...okay, that is enough to get the point across that no one can attain perfection. I wanna blame my "shallowness" on television, media and marketing, but that is a cop out and anyone with half of a brain and a bit of self-awareness and integrity knows that thinking on that level is normal, but not acceptable in the Real Dating World.
So, the big question, the question that is probably the impetus for this blogging effort and self-deprecation is “how do I fix it”? Liz (my best female friend and confidant; happily married by the way) says that we all have lists, but to get out of “my own damned way”, I need to drastically shorten the list…you know, create a small list of “haves” versus a huge list of “have nots”. So, here we go:
1.She has to make me laugh
2.She has to be intelligent (educated or worldly, as in traveled, not “hoeish”/”whoreish”)
3.She has to be flexible and understanding—we can define that later
4.I won’t lie, she has to be attractive to ME(I don’t exactly know that means, but I have an idea)
5.She has to be a social chameleon—hangin’ with the crew or at some 5-Star Event
6.She has to see those same things that I outlined above in me
Well, there it is in black and white (or whatever color this blog is), “My LIST”. I wrote it down, now we will have to see how well I stick to my own “guidelines”. Truth, a couple of minutes after I wrote this, I wanted to change it, you know, add a little here, re-word some things there, but I refrained. 20 minutes and counting..., so far so good…
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