The Beginnings of Stupidity...

As it is, to find the solution to a problem, it is imperative to go back to the beginning, the “Root” if you will. The ugly place that no one really likes to talk about, but we all know is the real reason for why we are who we are and why we do many of the things that we (I) do. It is time for me to have that thing that we all have to have with ourselves if we (I) really want to get out of this perpetual Stupidity Cycle--that “Come to Jesus Meeting”. I guess you could also call it the “Tyra Banks Get Naked In Front Of My Mirror Moment”…damn, do I really want to do that? I guess so, my forehead is not nearly as large as hers and I do like to be naked, so what the hell.

Looking back to when I was a youngster, I ask myself this question, “can I attribute my stupidity in relationships to something that I may have seen growing up, something that may have occurred in my own household, or maybe something that I conjured-up in my own adolescent mind?”. And when I REALLY think back, I realize that although my family was not the Huxtables (shout out to Cliff, Claire, Sandra, Denise, Theo, Vanessa & Rudy-shame on you if you don't know The Cosby Show), we sure played a great second fiddle to them—less the siblings and what not—ONLY CHILD SYBDROME can we say?

My Mom and my Dad were and are both very loving parents. I was the center of attention to all of this love, this goodness and this kindness. I was the first grandchild, the first male born in a long time and I was raised around my entire family—grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the whole nine--small town. Many would say that I was and still am a bit spoiled and that might be accurate—hell, it is dead on but, what does being spoiled have to do with the price of tea in China (one of my Mom’s favorite sayings)? Well, Tyra, I will tell you, it probably has to do with most, if not all of the stupidity that I perpetuate. Putting on my own Dr. Phil mustache, (I hate that I have mentioned Oprah, Trya & Dr.Phil in these damned blogs, but I too am a victim of popular culture) being the center to all of that attention, the doting, the protective bubble, the preferential treatments, etc…and so forth, you really “start to smell yourself”- (street vernacular for “you really begin to think and BELIEVE that you are the s**t”). I see why many celebrities are real pricks--haha!!

Looking into the mirror, you get to see yourself for who you really are—sans the True Religion jeans you so dearly love b/c you “think” that they make your ass look like you could bounce quarters of it—yeah, I said it, no witty t-shirts that are sometimes conversation starters or argument starters depending on the surroundings--shout out to Cafe Press, no newspaper boy hat cocked to the side like you like to wear it to cover up your eyes, no barriers to protect you, no make-up to cover-up your flaws (no, I don’t wear make-up, I am a Metrosexual, not a cross-dresser), but what's really wrong with toner--LOL? Truthfully, it is really scary to have to see yourself broken down to your basic elements, although, I have to say, I wouldn’t mind seeing Tyra that way—dig?

So the question still remaines, what went, dramatically wrong? I mean, I didn’t have to get engulfed in the “center of attention/spotlight” mentality. What my parents and family did was not wrong, it was love, unconditional and true. It was not intended to make me into a jerk, rather, a productive and loving man in the world.…not the guy that got slapped in the face at his job because he thought that he was being slick having a girlfriend and a"friend" at the same time or the guy that got kicked in the balls in the middle of an argument trying to explain why he had certain email addresses and PICTURES or the idiot that tapped his girlfriend's stomach and made one of the dumbest comments on the planet about her weight, which by the way, she was flawless, some jokes just aren't funny and, your sense of humor should never drift over to weight, how her ass looks, if she is having a good or bad hair day. When trying to be funny and you hear that voice in your head speak, you should just shut-up. To any guys reading this, never ever, ever, ever make a joke like that, you will never get a laugh, you will only get lonely. (many stories to come--stay tuned).

The truth is, I was born a man and even worse, developed into a STUPID MAN? The real question is , how do I fix it? Can I and men like me be fixed? We will see…