If there is, here is my Christmas Letter:
Dear Santa,
I am pretty pissed and I think that you know why...I don't need to spell it out, but you know what I want for Christmas. The list hasn't changed in the last 10 years. I realize that for a few years (say 23-32) I was a bit naughty, you know this, you are Santa for Christ's Sake. But, as of late, I have been what most would consider "nice"--a bit spoiled, (thanks, Mom & Dad) but nonetheless pretty nice. Seriously, what in the "F" is up with you putting a lump of coal in my "life stocking" every damned year--can you explain? Can I get some sort of a "nice" stocking stuffer as opposed to this dark lump you seem to leave every year.
Did you ever think that I too deserve to be happy, that I deserve a "good" gift because of my nice deeds and my attempts to do a 180 with my relationship life? You gotta tell me, what other nice things do I need to do? NO, NO, NO...I guess that is your answer because every year, it is the same old story, same song, second verse, EVERY verse. I had a conversation the other day about you and a friend of a friend said that "people get exactly what they want". Despite what they say, the things that they claim that they want, are not what they "truly" want. Now, I don't believe that at all because THIS is far from what I want. Oh, and if you once again read my list, come to my house, eat my cookies, drink my milk and put an "X "by my name again and write "Patience"...we might just have to fight!!
Okay seriously, are you just not getting my list? Hell, I have been sending it to the same address year after year--North Pole, right? I mean, I don't think that you moved--traded in the winter home for a place in Boca--did you? Seriously, tell me what's up!!! If I need more stamps, (by the way, how are kids supposed to send you letters when stamps are like $1.25 a pop--Damned US Postal Service) if I need to send the letter Certified Mail or UPS/Fed Ex Overnight, just let me know.
Alright, maybe you read it and decided that it is "in my best interest" to send me more crap. I mean, was I not specific, did I not explain myself in great enough detail or was my hand-writing just not up to snuff? Did I write "meaningful" and you thought it was "meaningless" or "lovely" and you thought it was "lousy"? Either way, I am getting pretty fed up with the same old SH**!!
So, this time I am putting this out in the Cosmos and I am hoping that with the few days you have between now and the Big Day, you can use your database, locate the coal that I know you were planning to drop off to me and switch it something more appropriate to my current wishes--you think you can do that this year? Think Nicole Scherzinger, Charlize Theron or we can even go classic...Sophia Loren, Raquel Welch, Lena Horne...I mean, I know that I Ain't All That (future post), but you get the idea. Safe travels and tell Karma that I said "Hello" and to "lighten up a bit"!
Signed,
Still Single & A Little Less Stupid
Monday, December 21, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Grrrrr, BAD TIGER....
Wow, what can you really say that has not already been said? First, I have to admit, I am really tired of seeing Tiger and Elin Woods all over the news--I mean, have we just become a public that loves tragedy so much that that is all that the media reports? Never mind, I already know the answer.
Any whom, the whole Tiger fiasco got me to thinking (hell, it got everybody thinking even if you didn't want to) and you wanna know what I think...(too bad,it's my blog and I am going to say it any way): I think that for the most part, we are too fucked up to know what it is that we really want. Or, we are too afraid or better yet, we are too damned selfish to sacrifice a part of our selves for the greater good of "coupledom". Again, this is not a sweeping judgment across the board, but for a lot of the single people that I know, (including myself), this could be the reason for our "Singledom". We have all gotten used to the way that we want things, the way that we like things and the way that we expect things to be and that whole "me, me, me" attitude has caused us to be with just ourselves--alone and lonely.
We have gotten so swept up with the way that we want things that we have become never evolving, never changing and we always end up in the same spot. Though, in our minds, we really think that we are evolving and ever changing. In my humble and angry opinion, I think that a lot of us (again, myself included) have become relationally insane because we seem to keep doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. Or, we tend to do nothing at all. A lot of us just can't seem to get out of our own way. We often become too busy trying to change others to fit the way that WE think that they should be with us that we lose sight of the fact that we aren't the most perfect people.
A lot of times, hell, all of the time, my biggest fear is: "Maybe I am too scared to make the right or wrong decision." In baseball analogy, I am afraid to take my foot off of first base in order to get home. I may be a victim of my own relationship history as the things that I have done to others in the past keep me from opening up for fear that they may happen to me. It is rather sad when you have haunting dreams of wounds that won't heal--Karma...WOW!!!
I guess,in a nutshell it comes down to the decisions that you do or do not make based on that internal dialogue that you have with yourself. Why you won't open-up because of what may have happened to you in the past, what pain you may have inflicted on someone else in the past or the very fear of, it might not work-out the way that you planned it. I mean, I have this ideal in my head of how I want things to be, the way that I think a successful relationship should be and the very fear that something may fall short of that is what holds me back! I need a relationship memory eraser--do they make those (alcohol works on so well and it is not permanent).
It is that very insanity that keeps a lot of us from growing and developing meaningful relationships--the fear of the unknown. I am sure that Elin did not go into her marriage thinking that Tiger was the "man-whore" that we have all come to know him to be in recent weeks. Who can you trust?
Questions, Questions, Questions...Looking for the Answers!!!! I am not even sure if I will ever find them. But, I will keep looking!
BAD TIGER!!!
Any whom, the whole Tiger fiasco got me to thinking (hell, it got everybody thinking even if you didn't want to) and you wanna know what I think...(too bad,it's my blog and I am going to say it any way): I think that for the most part, we are too fucked up to know what it is that we really want. Or, we are too afraid or better yet, we are too damned selfish to sacrifice a part of our selves for the greater good of "coupledom". Again, this is not a sweeping judgment across the board, but for a lot of the single people that I know, (including myself), this could be the reason for our "Singledom". We have all gotten used to the way that we want things, the way that we like things and the way that we expect things to be and that whole "me, me, me" attitude has caused us to be with just ourselves--alone and lonely.
We have gotten so swept up with the way that we want things that we have become never evolving, never changing and we always end up in the same spot. Though, in our minds, we really think that we are evolving and ever changing. In my humble and angry opinion, I think that a lot of us (again, myself included) have become relationally insane because we seem to keep doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. Or, we tend to do nothing at all. A lot of us just can't seem to get out of our own way. We often become too busy trying to change others to fit the way that WE think that they should be with us that we lose sight of the fact that we aren't the most perfect people.
A lot of times, hell, all of the time, my biggest fear is: "Maybe I am too scared to make the right or wrong decision." In baseball analogy, I am afraid to take my foot off of first base in order to get home. I may be a victim of my own relationship history as the things that I have done to others in the past keep me from opening up for fear that they may happen to me. It is rather sad when you have haunting dreams of wounds that won't heal--Karma...WOW!!!
I guess,in a nutshell it comes down to the decisions that you do or do not make based on that internal dialogue that you have with yourself. Why you won't open-up because of what may have happened to you in the past, what pain you may have inflicted on someone else in the past or the very fear of, it might not work-out the way that you planned it. I mean, I have this ideal in my head of how I want things to be, the way that I think a successful relationship should be and the very fear that something may fall short of that is what holds me back! I need a relationship memory eraser--do they make those (alcohol works on so well and it is not permanent).
It is that very insanity that keeps a lot of us from growing and developing meaningful relationships--the fear of the unknown. I am sure that Elin did not go into her marriage thinking that Tiger was the "man-whore" that we have all come to know him to be in recent weeks. Who can you trust?
Questions, Questions, Questions...Looking for the Answers!!!! I am not even sure if I will ever find them. But, I will keep looking!
BAD TIGER!!!
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